Reflections

The last couple of years can only be described as ones of extremes. Absolute lows and exhilarating highs.

It's hard to believe that I've been back in Toronto for six months now. It feels like I've spent that entire time rebuilding what I had dismantled (both emotionally and physically - it's taken that long to restock the kitchen alone!) but yesterday I bought furniture which I think is either a sign that I'm sticking here a bit, or that very shortly will have fabulous offers that require moving. One or the other. DC was a transforming experience and one that I was so lucky to have had but it's time to unpack.

December wasn't how I would have wanted 2010 to end. A rough haul for many people I care about. So I can only hope that 2011 brings strength, peace, kindness and dare I say, joy, as I think we all deserve nothing less.

The Longest Night...

For the first time in all the years that I've lived in Toronto, I went to the Festival of Lights in Kensington Market tonight. The event marks the Winter Solstice and involves costumes and lanterns and a parade ending with a big ol' bonfire. I'd intended to go many times in the past but something has always come up - or it was a blizzard or too damn cold or what have you. I'm really glad I finally made it out. It's another one of those neat uniquely Toronto things which is good for me to remember and participate in.

It was a little frosty out, but the crispness didn't keep the spirits down. It really feels like the whole community is out participating - families, couples, dogs - all out dancing down the streets, bringing back the light.

We came upon a group of kids putting on their very own unique pageant- a tale of how to save the city...

Yes, that's Sarah Palin standing with a representation of...you guessed it...Rob Ford (look closely at the license plate). Not only was the skit fun, but it also was very accurate in terms of the style and rules of the passion plays. Very impressive kids!!

No Frills was like a war zone this morning. It made me fear for humanity.

I love New York

I'm tired so will try to write more on this tomorrow but my New York fellows reunion was terrific.

Looking around at dinner, it all seemed very natural that we were there together again. If the program did nothing else, it seems to have created this strange crazy bound between us. I joked that it was this weird co-dependency. Which is true. And it's unique to our year - the two other Canadians from previous classes have similar experiences.

Anyway, some hi-lights:

Saturday night was the annual Santa march. Who knew? 6000 people dressed as Santa rallied at Washington Square and then spread throughout the surrounding neighbourhood - where we were having dinner. There were Santas everywhere. Drunken Santas.

We then went to one of those bars that would only survive in New York - though I'm sure someone in Toronto would love to be cool enough - no sign on the door and you have to ring the bell to get in at which point basically they judge whether you are cool enough to get in. We passed!! I would normally think this is terribly pretentious, but it is way better when you are allowed in :-) Actually the bar was super cozy and charming. I had a very yummy drink (well two) basically a bourbon sour with maple syrup. Tasty.

I also discovered High Line Park. Built on 1.5 miles of unused elevated railway from the 1930s, the city has created a beautiful landscaped park which overlooks the Meatpacking District on one side and the Hudson River on the other. It was this amazing oasis in the middle of the city - and designed not only to be beautiful but to be used by the people who live nearby - benches and cafe tables scattered along it.

This trip I feel I have almost conquered the NY subway system. Not that I know where it all goes or how, but I figured things out and took it on my own for the first time, I even gave someone else directions. Which I hope were correct. If not, she'll have ended up in Brooklyn.

Anyway, it was a wonderful refreshing break. I'll post some pics once I've downloaded them...

Top five theatre experiences...

In no particular order...

The Last Temptation of Christopher Robin - The Theatre Centre, Toronto (mid 1990s)

Gut Girls - The Theatre Centre, Toronto (again mid 1990s)

Into the Woods - York Theatre, York, England

Macbeth (Patrick Stewart) - RSC/BAM transfer, New York City

A Midsummer Night's Dream - NAC, Ottawa (I was five - it was an important moment)

That I worked on...

Hairspray

The Overcoat

There must be a million I've forgotten...

And now, Fellows Reunion in New York City!!!

Theatre Geek Fest

Otherwise known as an Evening in Conversation with Stephen Sondheim. Such an articulate man. Well let's be honest, he's a friggin' genius. A living legend of the stage - and that's not even an exaggeration. And I got to hear him talk for almost two hours. So what that he was clearly bored of it all the last 20 minutes?? (I would have been too if I'd had to answer some of those questions). That's still an hour and a half of hearing him speak not bored.

Still one of my top five favourite productions of all time - maybe even top three - was a small regional theatre production of Into the Woods that I saw in York in the north of England in 1997. This was before I became a musical theatre junky - in fact I was still a straight theatre snob - and probably was the first Sondheim I'd seen on stage. Basically zero set budget, no stars and actually a pretty small cast. And it transformed the way I thought about theatre. Full stop. And that is Stephen Sondheim.

Tangled

Tangled was my first 3D movie experience. I know, I know, the whole 3D fad has been going on awhile now and I've not seen any of them. The whole thing seems a bit fanatical to me - and wearing glasses on top of my glasses, less than appealing.

However, Tangled is a really sweet retelling of the Rapunzel story. Rapunzel is a spunky, spirited young thing and I liked her!

Since my depth perception is pretty much non-existent, there was only one scene which really appeared 3D to me, but the rest of the movie seemed fuller somehow. Not 3D exactly, but richer. Lovely lanterns.

I still don't really understand the phenomenon, but hey, this one was charming.

New neighbourhood fail!

So apparently there isn't a post office within reasonable walking distance of my new apartment.

Apparently there is one at Dufferin and Dupont (listed as my #1 choice on the Canada Post website). Duffierin and Dupont is not close. I mean, it's likely a good 30 minute walk, maybe a bit shorter through some side streets. I'm a walker, but with no other reason to go to Dupont and Dufferin, this is unlikely to happen.

Santa's deliveries might be a little delayed this year!

I'm at a fundraising conference for 3 days this week. So far I'm realizing that really, I learned a lot about fundraising at the KC. But a refresher is always good, plus, we have privacy laws here which basically don't exist in the States so it's harder to find out personal information about donors etc. (it's scary, in the States so much information is just a google away).

However, the main thing I learned was that theatre people drink way more than fundraisers. At the strange cocktail reception this evening, their were 3 of us (all theatre folk) standing next to the open bar, and pretty much everyone else was at the other end of the room listening to some sort of motivational speech. I thought perhaps it was because fundraisers made enough money to buy their own drinks. My friend said it was because fundraisers knew to get everyone else drunk in order to get them to give them money. Both valid points.

No spoilers

I saw the new Harry Potter movie tonight. It's scary! I mean, I've read the book so knew what was going to happen (though I'd forgotten a couple of things), but I think it got in to my psyche because on the subway I thought this hooded guy was following me (I even switched cars!). I'm sure he wasn't a Death Eater, but better safe than sorry...

Full Moon Hangover

These last two days have made me and those around me grumpy. Yesterday I was grumpy grumpy grumpy. Today it was hard not to be inspired to TTC rage, everything was so full and people were nutso. So I'm coining a new term - Full Moon Hangover - for the crazy that lingers after the full moon. I think it has potential.

I bought pink toilet paper. I seem to remember coloured toilet paper being big in the 70s but I haven't seen it in ages. This is supposed to support the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation, but I have to admit I bought it because it was $2 cheaper than any other option. It sort of clashes with my bathroom though.

Diamonds!!

I can't believe I forgot to mention the diamonds. After work yesterday, I went with Laurie to look at diamonds.

It was the strangest set up. This bare office on the 20th floor of an office tower - only furniture in one room with a long table of consultants talking diamonds. It was total fly by night diamond sales!

And there were bags and bags of diamonds.

They weren't set in anything so you were buying (well one was buying, not me by any stretch) the diamonds to then be turned in to whatever you wanted.

We learned all about the four Cs - Colour, Cut, somethng and Carat. Apparently I wasn't paying close enough attention. Our sales guy was actually very informative, though I don't think he quite knew what to do with us. I tried to get myself a commission if I convinced Laurie to buy something large! The biggest diamond we saw was only $48,000. A bargain as it would retail at something like $72,000. (see some detail I remember...)

I've never been much of a diamond person, but these sure were pretty. So sparkly...

(no I didn't buy anything!)

the week that was

Thursday I had my auditor in. It is definitely not fun prepping for an audit when you haven't been around for any of the fiscal year - well barely anyway (we have an Aug.31 year end which is random). It was relatively painless in the end - only a couple of minor adjustments. I like our auditor well enough but she did one thing that turned me right off. I had gotten a written quote from her prior to her coming in - and then part way through the day she says that her fee is going up $500 (which would be a 25% increase over last year). I said that actually I was going to pay what she quoted me. She backed down but it felt sleazy. I don't know if she thought because I was new that she could push it or what. Next year I'm going to do some shopping around methinks....

Last night was the Steam Whistle Unsigned concert series again at the Roundhouse. This is such an amazing partnership for us. Basically a guaranteed $2000 every 3 months or so. I stayed for all 3 bands last night so was up way past my bedtime but I was enjoying myself - plus I had to make the speech from the stage last night (ugh) so I had to stay a good part of the night for that. Clearly all the older fogies like me were there for the second band (my favs of the night - The Young Empires I think they were called) as by the third band - Rich Aucoin (hugely popular) everyone in the room except for me was like 20 years old. And the girls were all wearing skanky pseudo 80s outfits with high heels. I must be old because I thought they were all dressed so inappropriately! and frankly just badly. Trashy is not classy girls! The guys all had a hipster cardigan vibe (instead of the hipster plaid from last show). Anyway, I felt old making my speech. They didn't have any stage monitors on so I could only hear myself through the speakers into the crowd so with a 2 second delay. Awkward to ignore that so I felt like I was speaking really fast! Anyway, it's all good, a little fundraising, a little PR. A few G&Ts. A good night.

New hair

Okay, so after much debate and a Facebook poll, I decided not to dye my hair brown. Sad really - I will some day. The clincher was when my hairdresser- who normally is all for the crazy colour - said "oh I love your blonde". Boring. She also pointed out how people kill for my natural colour.

Boring! Anyway, a compromise was reached. I am still blonde, but it is quite a dark blonde, with all sorts of honey blonde low lights which to me looks quite dark, though no one at work noticed.

It had started to rain when I got back to the office, so perhaps it was just because it was dark in the office...or maybe it looks exactly the same, who knows...

I should also say that if I spent less money on my hair, I could have an apartment full of furniture by now. Priorities I guess, but stupid!

It feels a bit like a right of passage that I know someone whose marriage was announced in today's NY Times.

This afternoon I went to see the current exhibit at MOCCA by David Hoffos

http://www.mocca.ca/

If you are in Toronto, go see this! Don't wait, just go. Really neat on so many levels. Just clever ideas and technique. You may have to wait in line to get in - yes, a line up for Canadian modern art! amazing. And it's free. You can thank the Hal Jackman Foundation for that.

The afternoon was complete with a kinda lame pseudo art protest outside of MOCCA with a sign saying "I will not produce bad art" and some guy burning something. Lame. But whatever.

Apparently I love theatre. I don't really have any desire to work in anything else - I feel this job is too far removed from the process. And yet it seems I really only love short theatre. Fortunately most of what I am seeing this season is 90 minutes or less no intermission (my favourite words). I suppose musicals would be the exception - and Priscilla flew by (though it was short for a musical at less than 2 1/2 hours).

Last night I saw the impressive The Middle Place - written, directed and designed by friends based on interviews with youth in a shelter in Toronto. It was theatrical more than theatre I think, but I also feel it should be seen by everyone living in this city. Or any city. When it comes to your city, go see it. Tonight I'm going to The Year of Magical Thinking - which should be wonderful. Both are under 90 minutes long and that makes me so happy. Isn't that sad though? I want to see your show but only if it doesn't take too long... and I apparently love theatre.

I watched the CBC online at 11am this morning to see the ceremony in Ottawa for Remembrance Day. I remember standing out there many years as a child and it always being cold and grey and rainy. It looked beautiful today. Last year it poured on Damion and I at Arlington Cemetery. Maybe it's fine as long as I'm planning to commemorate inside.

I also remember being turned down for the Ottawa youth choir that sings every year for the ceremony. I'm still a tad resentful of that if I'm honest. This year, they didn't sound very good either!

The faces of the old veterans always make me sad. It's something about how they look so smart in their uniforms and how you know that they will stand for the entire service if they can, even if it's the longest that they have stood in a long while. It is just that important. So many of them seem alone in the crowd and their faces are etched with expression. It just makes me sad.

Second random event of the weekend. Walking along Bloor Street this afternoon I passed a mini-parade. It looked like just one army regiment - lead by bagpipers and drummers followed by maybe a hundred officers all in beige kilts. Judging by the number of non-white people involved, I'm assuming that they were visiting from somewhere, but there wasn't a banner or anything to explain who they were or why they were marching past the Bata Shoe Museum. I have also never seen a black bagpiper before, so that was kinda cool.

I went to the Whole Foods in Yorkville which was very much as I remembered it, but at the same time incredibly disappointing. It paled in comparison to my P St. store in DC (and seemed more expensive which is hard to believe) and I was left feeling a bit sad about it. Though I did buy myself a mini chocolate cupcake which was very tasty.

I went to see the documentary Marwencol today. I am so happy to have semi-regular documentary screening access again. Anyway, we went to the new TIFF Lightbox building for the first time, which is very impressive, though the screening rooms are quite corporate, at least the one we were in.

The film is about this guy in New York state who had been savagely attacked by five teenagers and as part of his own therapeutic rehab, builds a WW2 town in Belgium with essentially Barbie Dolls in his backyard. The detail is remarkable. He then takes pictures of it and his images are really incredible - the composition, lighting, everything is perfect and he was using an old crappy camera with a broken lightmeter, all outside...anyway...it's all kinda strange and sweet at the same time.

We realized too late that there was indeed popcorn concessions and so after the film went exploring. I hope that TIFF has a solid plan for maintaining operations of this building because there is staff everywhere. Dare I say over-staffed. We were met by a wall of staff before we could get to the snacks and one spontaneously gave us a tour of the place. It was a tad odd actually but we did get to see this secret room for members - the members lounge - for coffee and drinks and where the tables were all touchscreen so you could play chess and stuff. It's not actually as secret room, it just looks like you are about to walk in to the window before you get there. I have to say the building's design is really well done - at least what I saw. I'm not sure how well it would handle huge crowds as there seems to be just one way in and out of everywhere, but on a Saturday afternoon with only a handful of patrons and three times the staff necessary, it was just fine.

Okay so I may have gone shoe shopping after work and I may have bought two things. One was very practical - winter boots, a girls gotta have winter boots. The other pair may have been the most pretty pair of red shoes with square toes and a moderately sensible heel. Moderately. But they are Hush Puppies so they are practical. Indeed.

I have to say how glad I was to have had my yoga class yesterday. This is a bit of a cheat since my teacher reads this, but it's true. It's frankly been a stressful, frustrating few weeks, ones that have been a tough slog. Anyway, taking that break in the middle of the day was exactly what I needed.

Update on my friend

Since many of you have asked (thank you)...he seems to be doing well. Things to know:

Don't tour with the Rockettes to Indiana.

In the US, get married - do not reman common law as your non-married partner will not have any legal right when it comes to healthcare decisions and so the doctors will wait until you wake up. Um yeah.

Anyway, things have gone from dire to very hopeful in a quite miraculous fashion. So this is all good news.

the view from my office window...

I realize I never mentioned Priscilla. And since I really need to recognize some good stuff going on in my somewhat gloomy posts this week, Priscilla is AWESOME. Though some of the Australia accents are terrible but just ignore them and enjoy the singing and dancing drag queens.

You can't go wrong with singing and dancing drag queens.

The costumes are astounding - and there is one quick change sequence that is so fast, I couldn't figure out how they did it unless they are using doubles (actor doubles). It's just that quick. What I found strange was that the audience didn't react to that at all. It's like everyone is so used to movies, that you just think these things are easy. When it's not, it's really magic. Hard magic.

This show made me miss working on the big musicals - that work is not like any other. It's like 50% skill and 50% adrenaline - a mad dash to the finish line.

I also had a pink high heel sugar cookie at intermission. It was yummy.

Apparently miracles do happen. My friend in from the KC is now responding and showing brain movement which wasn't the case yesterday. They are saying that the chance of a full recovery is good. It's remarkable.

I got a call this afternoon from my theater peeps at the KC with some terrible news about someone I had worked with down there. Not only was I touched and saddened because of the news, but I realized that I had been a part of their team. A true member of their team, to the point where they felt it was important to call me and let me know. I wasn't just someone who came and went without leaving an impression. I miss that. I miss them. And I'm sad because of the news.

It's been a hard week.

D-Day

Today was my fundraiser. In theory, it wasn't a big deal - cocktail party, with a raffle and entertainment - but since I did pretty much all of it on my own, from selling tickets to arranging catering to figuring out the talent to getting things donated, well, it had become somewhat time consuming. And I was a bit stressed about the whole thing.

It was actually a huge hit. I have no idea if we made a dime mind you, but the night was fun and different and people enjoyed themselves. It was still weird to me, having it in a board members home (a big home, but still a home nonetheless), but this was a crowd that seemed to like that.

A couple of things happened that seriously ticked me off, however, I am trying to find my zen and just be glad it's over. I kept thinking, just imagine what I could do if I liked my job!!!

I am so fortunate to have such talented friends to help me. I mean the performances were amazing, truly amazing and made the night the success that it was. A standing ovation in a living room. Not bad I think...

(still glad it's over!!!)

Day one of the National Health Show. Freak show would be a better name. I had expected the patrons to be freaks (I fondly remember the Goats of the One of the Kind Show all those years ago...) but had not expected such freaky exhibitors. The booth next to ours was for a group of people who saw Jesus in the moon. Yup. I couldn't make this stuff up. I think that accepting that Jesus' image was in the moon was somehow supposed to heal whatever ails you. It was all a little unclear to me, but I didn't want to ask too many questions for fear of engaging them in too much conversation. There was also a fortune teller and a booth advertising Hereafter the movie. Odd.

Overall the show lacked organization and a good 1/4 of the booths were empty. And there were no people. Well in the morning there were some but by 2pm we basically had tea and twiddled our thumbs. If I'd paid for the booth, I'd have been pissed. But since we didn't, it was just a waste of my day but not much else.

So after the stressful and disheartening Twilight Zone episode at the gym this morning, the universe rewarded me with tickets to see Priscilla Queen of the Desert on Sunday afternoon.

I'm taking my friend Rob who says I'm his "next best gay" - which I like. So yay.

White Trash Wednesday

Stormed out of the gym today. Could not believe that what was happening was happening in downtown Toronto.
It was a struggle getting to the gym this morning, but I went. There were two women in already, who were loud and I just thought "ugh" but continued on.
Then the conversation turned to gay people and spiraled downhill from there. When one turned to me and whispered "I even saw two men kissing in a restaurant" . That's when I lost it.
Lost it. Completely lost my noodle. And stormed out.
So that was a good time.

You know what I love? I love Sunday brunch that turns in to Sunday afternoon coffee and a stroll along Bloor. Though whoever redesigned the sidewalk along Bloor really should have their landscaping scouts badge taken away from them. The ridges in the sidewalk are going to break more than one pair of heels. And I, even in my somewhat sensible footwear of yesterday, am doomed. I doubt I'll walk the block and stay upright again...

While I love the "It Gets Better" campaign and what it is trying to say to LGBTQ youth across North America, what actually needs to happen is for the STRAIGHT kids and teens (and adults) to grow a pair and stick up for the kids you see being bullied or mistreated - for whatever reason. Don't let them get picked on. Don't turn a blind eye. Don't walk away. Behave with humanity. Then it would get better.

Be the moderator. The peacekeeper. The protector.

Be someone you can be proud of being.

When I was a kid, I didn't know about homosexuality, but my best friends were Black and Chinese and it never occurred to me that there was anything different about that. They were just my friends. I was taught that everyone was equal and deserved to be treated that way. I was taught to stand up for myself and to stand up for others when they couldn't. This is how I try to live.

I hate bullies - and we've all had to face them. And that's the key, we have to face them, but it doesn't have to be alone. Be strong for someone else when they can't be. Raise your voice. Bullies are chickens - I know, I've stared down a few in my time. Teach your kids that just not being the bully isn't enough. It isn't enough if you let someone else get hurt.

Hey, so I have an article in the autumn issue of Dance UK! This is crazy because I didn't realize that's what I was writing. Full page and everything. In my second week here, they asked me for some thoughts on arts funding in Canada. So I sent them my thoughts - who knew? They edited one sentence weird so it's a bit run on, but otherwise, not bad.
It's not online I don't think, but if you see it, I'm on page 21 of the current issue "Dance and Philanthropy".
Neato.

I realized tonight that my foundation is a Howard Jones lyric.

I just saw HoJo perform for I believe the 7th time and found him to be just as inspiring as I did the first time in grade nine, those many years ago (though the audience was significantly more grey haired tonight).

I remember his songs getting me through high school. Don't get me wrong, I liked high school - I was good at it, had lots of friends - but it's still a hellish time. A cringe-worthy, unforgettable time and for me, Howard Jones was my touchstone.

Tonight I thought it would be appropriate to turn again to Howard for a little clarity. So in true high school fashion, I'm pasting some song lyrics.

So she had built her elaborate home
With its ups and its downs, its rains and its sun
She decided that her work was done, time to have fun
And she found a game to play

Then as part of the game
She completely forgot where she'd hidden herself
And she spent the rest of her time
Trying to find the parts

Hope you find it in everything, everything that you see
Hope you find it in everything, everything that you see
Hope you find it, hope you find it
Hope you find me in you

Last week was a long one. And not the best on record - a couple of weekend cancelations added to the work stressy stupidness and an overall feeling of blah. So here's hoping the one ahead is a bit easier. Fighting a losing battle with a cold, but Shoppers was open so I have medicinal aids to get me through the night.

I did have a lovely Thanksgiving dinner in Oakville from which I am still full today. Too bad there wasn't veggie lasagna though (JOKE that is a JOKE for my Oakville readers - there could not have been more food on that table).

It was a motley crew on my streetcar home last night - and every one of them on their cell phone. A couple of them were homeless, or at least transient, or at least smelled that way, with better phones than I have. And talking up a storm. Loudly. I know all about rooming houses and shifts at some convenience store and girlfriends. At least it's a short ride.

I love Skype. Just talked to friends in California and Indonesia with video so we could wave hello - all for free over the internets. And I love that Bell finally got my internet to work consistently allowing me to do so uninterrupted. (2 months free service to make up for the issues as well...not bad at all).

Gobble gobble everyone.

where to start with this day...

First, the celeb chef that almost said yes to doing my fundraiser for work, finally said no today. Though she was very nice about it and I now have had two lovely conversations with her so that's something...

Add to that the most annoying and at times condescending conversation with one of our noted arts councils. An arts council that is not as well looked upon as others and not known for its forward thinking funding plan, but still one that I would have defended as important and vital to the community. However, when the program manager basically laughs at me as I discuss our education programs for professional artists, she says and this is an exact quote "I suppose we might fund you one day when we have so much money we just don't know what to do with it" and "the Blank Arts Council's funding gives artists the resources they need to create their work", to which I responded, "so do we". I'm so frustrated to be treated as if the work we are doing is of no importance. Quite frankly, the exact opposite it true, but I need more money to double our outreach locally, improve the website and expand what we do across the province and yes, to other cities across the country. Anyway, it was a very demoralizing sort of day...

The 5th Nuit Blanche was last night and I have to say I liked most of what I saw. We only lasted 3 1/2 hours but saw about 25 installations, which I think is pretty good.

Creepy Clowns on Yonge St

Many things stayed with me (including the clowns above), but I even enjoyed some of the video art (I know, crazy - Eternal Encore being the favourite for me I think). This year was definitely an improvement on two years ago. I also really just love that for at least one night a year, art is cool and interesting to "normal" people. Even if some of the art is of questionable value and sometimes it doesn't live up to the expectations (hello rubber ducks on the Ryerson pond I'm talking about you) and the crowds can be intense and stupid. That is all secondary. It is the city committing to a festival which brings art literally into the streets and into the consciousness of a million people. And that is worth celebrating.

The new chair

So pretty...

Both my gym and the No Frills are in this pocket of the neighbourhood that has resisted gentrification. I think this blog may turn from stories of galas and celeb sightings (sigh) to tales of the manager at the gym and the somewhat colourful characters buying groceries.

This afternoon Amanda, the manager who is about 35, tells me that her 20 year old son is having a baby with his teenaged girlfriend. Oops. She was more concerned with being a grandmother than with the idea of teenagers having babies. I find this odd. No Frills was just a cornucopia of characters which made me long for the Forest Hill diamond and fur crowd at the grown up Loblaws down the street. Both crowds are unCanadian in their pushy-ness, but the Loblaws ones smell better.

My new chair is here! My new chair is here!

I am glad that I opted for delivery as it was a wee bit of a tight squeeze up the stairs. Makes me wonder if any sort of sofa would fit up...

It does make the rest of my furniture look a little drab I have to admit. But oh so pretty! photos will be forthcoming...

After another hour of my life spent on the phone with Bell tech support about my internet, I got the magical phone number. This number is to customer service of the VPs office. Oh yes. It's THE number. This number will lead me to getting my internet thus far in this apartment supplied for free - oh just watch me, it will.

I'm going to post it here so that when any of you have Bell issues (and if you have any services with Bell, you will have Bell issues) you can give the ol' VPs office a heads up.

1-866-317-3382

Your welcome.

just another day at the theatre...

Last night I was lucky enough to go to my friend's opening at Buddies. It was a strong choice for the new season by their new AD, though perhaps not for why people would think. Blasted by English playwright Sarah Kane is harsh and hard to watch, violent and pushes limits - even years after it was written. But there is more to the story and what it is saying about human nature than just a series of violent acts. Anyway, it was a well made show, beautifully designed, strong acting. It's good to see Buddies grow up.

At the after party a friend showed me her bra by lifting up her shirt. It was then I felt that I'd really come back to theatre in Toronto.

Cute bra though. Bright pink.

so tired...

Standing for 8 hours straight on concrete two days in a row is exhausting.

We launched our Art in the Atrium project at the hospital this week as a way to increase our presence in the hospital community, start integrating art into the daily life of the hospital, and perhaps make artists feel more comfortable coming in to the building to use the clinic.

Our mini-art exhibit the Art of Health was a big hit. After a bit of the what I imagine is usual resistance from some hospital staff ("you can't put that there" "you can't do that here") (there is a reason I have no interest in hospital administration), we won everyone over and I think, for two people who had never curated or set up an art show before, it looked good! 3 pieces in particular captured people over and over again (one by a friend of mine I'm happy to say). I gave out a lot of cards so hopefully something will even sell.

Standing around for two days with the clinic's coordinator gave us a lot of time to come up with other plans. One of which is to have a rotating art gallery that can circulate through the patient units where people have to spend longer periods of time - long term stay or dialysis treatments. Anyway, there are logistics to work out but I think it's a really good idea. (I would of course having thought of it!). It's one of those things that doesn't have a downside. It benefits the patients, staff and the artist.

The second part of the launch was lunchtime performances by my friend Jim's jazz trio. It was the perfect choice for the start of the performance series. High quality performance with mellow musicians who could roll with whatever happened. Since I didn't know how it was going to go - I can't actually control all the elements at the hospital which is offputting actually - I wanted people I could depend on to kinda roll with it. Fortunately the most challenging moment was the Druxy's woman who said the music was giving her a headache. Um....okay Marvin Gaye played on the vibes is giving you a headache? I think this is a perfect example of someone whose life is very small. Anyway, all the hospital staff were thrilled and loved it. The clinical director was particularly impressed and started chatting with me about the idea of having an artist in residence at the hospital. So, I guess I'll end up doing some good here whether I want to or not...

My old peeps launched their season Thursday night. I'll not say much as well...I guess I don't understand why they are doing a misogynist German play from the 1990s. So much money was spent and honestly, it was just too boring to be offensive. I did love the polar bear though. People worked so hard on this too - many challenging hours - and I'm disheartened that my fears for the direction of the season seem to be founded.

Last night I was at the Tarragon for their owning show. And it was excellent. Of course. Charming, well acted, interesting, challenging, slightly odd and simple. A well made play, telling an interesting complete story.

It's been a full few days and I am pooped. Today, I sit around!

So this whole working out thing really does make you feel better. Who knew? I went before work this morning again and it didn't tire me out and I actually felt invigorated (or something). Must be the endorphins...

Bell has come and gone in decent time this morning thereby not taking up another entire Sunday, which is a good thing. Apparently my internet line was crossed with someone's phone line (well done Bell installation dude!) and so whenever that person picked up the phone, my internet connection died. So theoretically, problem solved. Fills one with great confidence though doesn't it?

I'm going to get out for a stroll this afternoon as this week is going to be a marathon. Much much to do and craziness at work with the launch of our Art in the Atrium series at the hospital (yes, when one doesn't have enough to do one starts a monthly performance series at the hospital and for fun, adds an art exhibit to start it all off...) Anyway, that and a bunch of opening nights will make this a busy week...

Dance break!

I had a tap lesson this afternoon at work. Both my staff were in and they are both dancers. The office was deadly quiet, the phone wasn't ringing, the girls we share the space with were being totally silent, it was driving me nuts. So tap dance! Just another day at the office.

Speaking of normal, my internet has been intermittent at best this week so I called Bell to get it sorted. Of course they have to send a technician Sunday morning. Seriously it's like the universe doesn't want me to get sleep.

Well it's finally happened. I've joined a gym. Actually I've belonged to gyms before but it's been a while and after a year of American super-sized everything, I am in need...anyway, tonight was night #2 and I am feeling it. Good though, but I'll be sore in the morning. I had a full fitness assessment and everything and I am so not writing here what percentage of my body is fat. Ick! Anyway, hopefully I'll be able to stick with it and get back to being a little less soft than I am currently. The good thing is that it's about five minutes from my apartment and is full of women who make me feel skinny. And I know it's not about the other people, but it's just like when I did aquafit with all the little old ladies - I'd rather feel like I'm in somewhat better shape than work out with a bunch of twinkies in LuLuLemon.

I have had a few comments, dare I call them complaints, that people knew more about what I was up to when I was down in DC than they do now, as these posts have been quite erratic. I feel that way myself about some people - that I saw them more when I was in the states (seriously it feels that way). Things since I got back just feel like they have been spiraling chaotically. Not entirely out of control, but in a controlled turmoil. I remember last year, in the fall, after the initial frenzy of galas and dinners had past, and I didn't have a lot of extra demands on my time, and I wasn't entirely sure what to do with myself. Well, it's like I'm living the complete opposite at the moment. There are people that I've wanted to see since I got back and I just haven't physically been able to - and I want to see them! - and I don't see things getting easier until mid October.

So anyway, that's me. Plus of course there was just a whole lot more to talk about down there. I mean I went to No Frills on the weekend, but it's not the same as Trader Joes. Though actually the No Frills near me is pretty entertaining - I mean it lives its name that's for sure. So okay, maybe there are a few more things I could mention if I was a bit more inventive about it. I have started talking some pictures around the new hood. It is entirely new to me so I figure I should. Its eclectic around here...

Tonight I was at a fundraiser that actually was way more enjoyable than it should have been. A bunch of theatre critics singing The Producers really should have been god awful. But in fact it was pretty darn good. And it's good I was there though I didn't schmooze as much as I probably should have.

Finally made it inside the renovated AGO...quite beautiful...

I am pleased to report that Canadian indie rock boys still wear plaid. Tonight I went to the SteamWhistle Brewery for their indie concert series Unsigned. The proceeds of which go to my organization (Woot! Everyone go buy Steam Whistle!! Actually, they are awesome people and if I liked their beer, I'd buy it...) I made it through 2 of the 3 bands - which is pretty good considering I'm old. And they didn't suck. And really, the Roundhouse is a great place for an event. So yay.

The evening started out with a visit to the Vegetarian Food Fair. Which was very crunchy granola but good fun. Though my friend and I were repeatedly asked if we were vegetarian, which was just weird. I mean, does it matter? Clearly we are at a vegetarian food fair so we must be at least interested...the soy milk women was very aggressive about it when I said I was she said "so you don't eat fish". And I'm thinking, seriously lady I don't need a lecture from you about the difference between vegetarian and pescitarian (not spelling that right, but you know, people who eat fish). Giving vegetarians a bad name!

Anyway, we still ate good food and I bought quinoa so all was well. Yes, I carried quinoa to the concert thus officially making me an old woman! It's true. But I needed quinoa, so this was the choice I had to make. My Loblaws doesn't seem to sell it, or at least I can't find it there and when I asked last time the 12 year old helping me had never heard of it. For this reason I miss Trader Joe's where the aisles were full of quinoa!! And tofu. And cheap wine. Sigh.

Four days off is really the most civilized way to do things. While I could happily have another day off, I do actually feel mentally prepared to return to work. I think I needed the break more than I might have thought.

The weekend started with a perfect girlie getaway mini-break, which included my first return trip to America for some cross border shopping (and a fortunately distracted Canadian Customs Officer who did not inquire very closely as to our purchases). A wee spot of gambling on our overnight in Niagara (sadly unsuccessfully on my part) and then winery visits on our way back to the city. Favourites are still Thirty Bench and Tawes - and would love to go back and buy a bottle of the Tawes Meritage when I have a more available $60 to spend. It was really, really good. Most economical buy was a lovely Pinot Gris from Henry of Pelham. They are bigger so they can afford to have wine at a better price point than the others - I actually wish I'd bought two of it.

The rest of the weekend, I finished painting the cabinet. In total it took four coats of red and two of white but finally, finally it is finished. Well almost. I have to do some touchups this week as I had some tape removal issues. Which was a tad annoying but such is life. Better that than getting paint on the new floors in the apartment. Also, putting the handles back on was a bugger! They are old and so they actually come apart in three bits, not just one which I had assumed would be the case. Anyway, it makes them fiddly and a couple are still rather lose, but I gave up to tackle them again another night.

And here it is!

Deep Fried Mac 'n Cheese!

I played hooky for the afternoon and went to the CNE with my bro. Now I only ever go to the CNE when I can go for free (thank you Ms H!!) so it tends to be years between visits.

Today was good - not very crowded and we found everything we wanted. That for me included deep fried mac and cheese. And no, I did not try the deep fried butter - I draw a line people!!

The balls of mac and cheese were...disappointing. I had mac and cheese sticks in DC and they were delish. These balls had pretty tough skins and the inside noodles were piping hot. I mean, it was a suitably CNE thing to eat but no need to rush out and try it.

We visited the animals. Sadly the cutest were the beef cows which soon enough you people are going to be eating. Then went hit the international pavilion which is always a good place to spend some cash. I mostly bought British cookies. Oh and this cute Finnish gnome. He's very cute.

Tomorrow is a day off (yay!!) and even better, a road trip with the girls to Target!!! Hopefully the rain will pass and we'll have beautiful weather for a couple of days. Road trip!!

I've having trouble at work adjusting to being the person that does everything and not having any peers to bounce ideas off. It's isolating...and frustrating. and makes me less than productive. Sigh.

You know, since basically I got exactly what I asked for, you think I'd be happy but it feels like marking time...

So I've been in this apartment for three weeks now and I am still very much in a state of flux. I realize that part of my issue is that I'm missing key pieces of furniture (a dresser for instance) in which to unpack but there is also more to it. I have a lot of stuff - even after getting rid of so much a year ago and fitting the rest into a 5x10 space. And I have a lot of stuff I don't need. Stuff I haven't thought about for a year and that I lived quite happily without. So I feel the need to continue the purge. A friend called it "right sizing" which apparently is very trendy at the moment.

I am making myself open each box, just in case there is something vital or precious in there, but it is amazing the amount of junk I accumulated and felt was worthy of keeping during the Great Purge of 2009. Too. Much. Stuff.

(of course I fully intend to buy things at Target this weekend, but that's new stuff so it's different...)

Who thought red was a good idea???

New adventure today at Home Depot. The streetcar at the end of my block in fact ends at Home Depot so one day I was bound to end up there. It's an interesting - and long - journey. The neighbourhoods are incredibly diverse block to block from Corso Italia through a version of Little Portugal to basically the suburbs. Well, it feels like the suburbs all townhouses and big box stores.

Don't go to Home Depot with advice from a professional carpenter if you expect to spend less than $100. I did not. The project at hand is re-painting a cabinet that used to sit in my kitchen (where its old tatty paint didn't really show) that is now the centre of my living room (where it does).

Today was priming.

Today was supposed to be priming and first coat of paint but the priming took forever so we are behind schedule. Which is fitting for a construction/reno project I suppose.

Pictures to follow.

It's been one of those weeks...

where I was having trouble coming up with reasons to be glad to be back and really wishing I was still in DC. I did soon remember that I am being somewhat better financially compensated at the moment :-) however...

Anyway, today after a particularly difficult morning, I decided not to wallow. A small road trip with my BFFs for next weekend and a little DIY project which will make all the difference in the new apartment should help keep me focused on the positive. Baby steps...

I successfully figured out how to set the PVR to record Coronation Street yesterday AND, like magic, it remembers so it also taped it today. Of course I also have time shifting so I had thought I could just watch at 6:30 Vancouver time, but no need. Oh modern technology.

I had a coffee today with another former fellow (not from my year). I shared how I still feel a little unsettled -partly due to the half unpacked state of my life of course - but partly there is some residual wanderlust. She said she was the same. What is the spell that the KC puts us under?

After seeing Scott Pilgrim last night, (awesome Torontoness!!) it's clear I should have left my hair violet. Ah well, missed opportunities.

I got in the mail from the DC ex-roommate yesterday my first US medical bill! Well actually, second I suppose since I paid for the dentist. But this one is the bill for them to tell me that I either had an inner ear infection or a brain tumor and basically time will tell. So $20 well spent!

Or not spent yet, but billed. My insurance fortunately paid $363 of the fifteen minutes of medical expertise. I suppose I will pay it since I've still got my US bank account and who knows what not paying might mess up in the future. Hilariously, ex-roomie managed to open my mail and so in the envelope was a note apologizing - so nothing has changed there it seems.

My hair was briefly purple today. A hairdressing mishap intended to get the yellow out (as I've spent a fair bit of time in the sun this summer and my hair had bleached very yellowy which I didn't like) as violet/purple apparently calms the yellow. My hair sucked the purple in not understanding it was just intended to counteract the other colour. Oops. Anyway, after a brief moment flustering around (which I have never seen my very talented hairdresser do before) the situation was resolved favourably. Though now I think I look a little grey. We'll see what it's like in the morning.

If it had been hot pink I might have had her just leave it. Violet though I thought perhaps was a little too close to the blue rinse for my liking...

Last night through a series of TTC mishaps I ended up walking home after a lovely dinner with friends. I walked from the west so I got to see the slightly less gentrified end of St Clair. What's neat about this neighbourhood is how alive it is. All along the street, people were sitting in cafes and bars and ice cream places - I know it was a warm Friday night in mid Summer and likely it will be less vibrant in February - but it reconfirmed to me how right this choice was. People were bumping in to neighbours, saying hello from their front porches...

Today I get to relive a bit of my past while I help coordinate the wedding of a friend at one of the old Mirv theatres. Just like old times. I'm going to insist o a walkie-talkie!

Homeless no more!!

After 48 hours living like a luddite, Bell has finally successfully installed my wireless internet. It took awhile - 8 hours of waiting for no one to show up, 45 minutes on the phone, 24 hours later an actual technician appears and shazam, here we are.

The move was the least stressful I have ever experienced. It took less than 2 1/2 hours to get out of storage and into my third floor apartment with tiny, tiny stairs. The boxspring had to come up over the balcony as it would not fit any other way. But that they did effortlessly. Everything else - even the cabinet thingy - was not even a slight challenge for them. I probably tipped way too much but they were so freakin' good and friendly. I had budgeted it to take 4 hours! Anyway, it was just great. Of course I basically have no furniture so that makes it easier. I also have boxes of things that I just don't understand why I kept. And then there are other things - bathmat, kitchen garbage can - that I would have sworn I kept, but clearly didn't. So that's all just strange. Oh Target, why are you so far away??

So I see trips to Goodwill to get rid of things I paid to store, and Ikea to replenish, in my near future.

Saturday evening involved numerous Bourbon Sours, Hurricanes, Cajun food and psychic readings. But I almost fell asleep at the table. Soooo tired. The future looks bright FYI.

And you know what? I have the most comfortable bed ever!!

I went up to the new place again tonight and took a few things from the condo (why do I have so much stuff???). I still like it! It's still super cute! I still think it will be a challenge to get that cabinet up those stairs...

And the more time I'm spending in the new hood, the better I think it is. I went to an Indian restaurant with Lortz for dinner and it was delicious. The service was slooow but at least we didn't feel rushed. And, there's a discount for pick up orders :-)

We put up the shower curtain (well she did), and made friends with the neighbour's cat - so all round a successful night.

I waved at America this weekend. It's easy to forget how physically close we are to them when looking over Lake Ontario, but just a bit further east, the water shrinks and there they are. Just out of reach.

I picked up the keys to my new place today. It's still so cute! Everything looks smaller now it's empty so it's fortunate that I have little furniture left! I am slightly concerned about the queen box spring getting up the stairs and the fake art deco cabinet thing I have - which is very solid wood. We'll see. I've already picked out a few things from Ikea (oops) which I think will fit perfectly...It will have been 11 1/2 months since I've slept in my own bed. In that time I've slept in 10 other beds (get your minds out of the gutter people!) and had many adventures (again, out of the gutter!!) and I hope there are more to come. But I can't wait to have a little corner of the world to call my own again.

French bakeries in Toronto:

In my humble opinion, Bonjour Brioche is the best. However, it is impossible to get in to so what's the point.

Second best and likely soon to be my favourite since I'll be living around the corner from it,

Pain Perdu. I see many croissants in my future - which is not necessarily a good thing. Brunch at my place!

Okay so someone has started publishing an evening free newspaper t.o.night which they are aggressively giving away at the subway stations at rush hour. This isn't a terrible idea really, it is just a terrible newspaper. It does however have this one page called "Shout Outs" which seems to be gaining a cult following on the Go Train. People email in messages to other passengers or about other passengers. It's all quite odd. It's like there is a rush hour Go sub-culture that the rest of us just do not understand. Maybe the air is thinner in the suburbs...

West End Girl

Well more middle really but west of middle. But close to the second best French bakery in the city - since I couldn't find a place near the first best one. The apartment itself is worth the slightly longer commute. Maybe I'll never leave home.

I think I have discovered that brain doesn't have any more room. I'm taking in quite a bit of new information currently but I think it's full now. This might prove to be a problem. I'll keep you posted.

New home and roller derby!

Roller Derby is awesome.

First roller derby experience this past weekend - bachelorette party, arriving at a former airplane hanger in North York in stretch limos. This seemed somehow appropriate in an ironic way. Sure beats taking the TTC! And I had no idea that my friend the bachelorette had been a competitive roller skater growing up. My new quest is to convince her to be a Jammer on one of our teams. It's destiny!!!

I still wish I'd made it to a game in DC since in the States they have actual grown up facilities, though I kinda liked the underground feel of a rink created out of red spike tape in a circle on concrete. Well you all know that I could go punk at any time and if I had any stitch of coordination I'd be skating with the best of them. Ripped fishnets and all.

And after what felt like a really long time, I have finally found an apartment. It is super cute, with a lot of character and is actually a place I think I'll feel truly at home for the first time in ages. Of course the movers are going to hate me since it's up two flights of quite narrow stairs...oops...the current tenants have a bed up there, so it must be possible!

The Kennedy Center called me today for my opinion on something. As I'm just starting week 3 in this new job and am sort of frustrated with the poor organization of the place and not feeling like I'm affecting change quickly enough - this was an awesome call. Of course it also made me miss them and miss DC and wish that I was somehow doing something different with my life.

I'm sure once I find a place to live I'll feel better. I actually saw a nice sized brand new townhouse after work today. It's overpriced but I could likely talk them down.

Anyone have any thoughts on Dundas and Broadview? It's a bit "up and coming" still so I don't know what to think...

Reason to be vegetarian

Clearly it was slaughter day at the abattoir down the road. Four trucks full of pigs passed me on my way to and from the grocery store this morning.

People complain about the slaughterhouse being allowed to remain in the city limits - as it is now surrounded by condos - because the smell is quite pungent. But I think it's important that people remember where their food comes from and maybe make some different choices because of that.

Of course I found the trucks quite distressing, crammed full as they were. They were eerily quiet as they passed me.

Added bonus to the night...a Bones on TV that I didn't see this season. So a little splash of DC.

Tonight I can hear the Man U -Celtics friendly game at the Skydome. If I listen carefully I can even hear the actual cheers. It must be crazy loud inside (though the dome is open - I hope I wouldn't be able to hear it closed....)

The universe sent my tax return!! (well my Dad did but that counts). So since I've been in negative cash flow for quite some time now, this feels like a million dollars. I love the universe!

Now, if it could bring me a handsome, quirky boyfriend and a happy place to live I'm set and will ask for nothing further.

Oh, except those rolly chairs for the office...

Apparently I should ask the universe for a million dollars. In the last couple of days I've been attempting to solicit from friends some much needed furniture and couple of extra computers for the office. We currently work in a situation where when the bookkeeper comes in, I have to stop working as there is only one PC with the accounting software on it. Or if our part timer is in there isn't anywhere for her to be. This is not efficient.

In less then 24 hours, I've been offered 2 new-to-us PCs, a couple of desks and a hairdryer. Pretty awesome, yes? I think so.

I still am looking for a couple of rolly office chairs though :-) oh and a million dollars...

Today started with me breaking my hairdryer. I'm sure it still works perfectly except for the switch to turn it on, which broke off in my hand in the off position. What the universe doesn't understand is that having to figure out a time to buy a new hairdryer is just one too many things to have to do. It might just prove to be the thing that pushes me over the edge. It might just be what does me in. Also Universe, I don't get paid until Friday so I can't afford a new hairdryer until then, not having had a pay cheque since May, even if I could figure out when to get one.

Also Argos fans are way louder than Blue Jays fans. Though I can see the side of the Skydome from this condo, I've never heard a peep during a baseball game, but for the last half hour all I've heard is ARRRRGOOOOOOOS. Football is stupid.

7/11

Free Slurpee Day!!! (Dr. Pepper slurpee check)

In other news...

The octopus was right. And since Toronto is seemingly without a Little Spain, every street is free game for the honking. I actually think it is nice that we get so polarized about soccer here - a representation of how multicultural this city is - though allegiances seem to shift pretty fluidly. I can even hear the vuvuzelas above the "relaxing" (read deafening) tones of the fake lake/waterfall out back. If I were at street level, it would be highly annoying I'm sure.

Fringe over (check). This week, create the first cash flow in the history of the new job (ugh) and perhaps find a place to live. (sigh)

Remind me in future not to start a new job, look for a new place to live, jury a fringe festival and attempt to steer a $4 million capital campaign all in one week. It's a lot.

First days are strange. This one was fine as far as they go, we'll see.

The most exciting thing that happened today though was that I accidently saw the Queen. And she made me late for work. Now, I'm the boss so I wasn't all that worried about being late and quickly gave myself permission to be in order greet her Majesty at the Royal York Hotel. Much fun. I had been kicking myself since I was away on the weekend and missed her at the church. So if nothing else, starting the new job meant that I was up and walking past the Royal York at just the right time, so that's got to be a good thing.

Here she is. Moments after this was taken, she waved, but Mr. RCMP man stepped into my picture so you get the pre-wave shot. Another reason to dislike the RCMP!

Seeing pictures of the 4th of July fireworks in DC from the roof of the KC just makes me wish I was there. The rooftop terrace is really one of my favourite places in the world.

Today is the first day of the new job. I know I should be really happy to have found a job so quickly in this economy. I know it's a good "next stop" job and that it is a place where I can do some good I think. (plus fancy title) But it feels just like a stop on the road. And it isn't the KC.

And I'm still having a little trouble with that adjustment.

Five years ago I bet this condo would have had a terrific view of the fireworks. Tonight I can hear them but can't see a thing. Not even the glow of them, which is a little disappointing.

Note to self

"Business" attire in Toronto is way more casual than business attire at the KC. As I discovered at my first meeting with the hospital foundation folk today. I wore a suit. Others did not.

However, on my way home, this awesome exchange happened. I was approached by a young guy wielding a clipboard (you know the "can you spare a minute for sick kids" type). Except he didn't have the usual line, he started walking beside me and asked, "if you had a super power what would it be?". Now I've actually given some thought to this question so my response was,

"Well, I have always felt that if I had a super power it would be to make people speak in iambic pentameter". It's true and though some people think this is not a cool super power, I disagree and have been so validated today! He stopped in his tracks and said, "oh my god, I love you, that is so awesome. If only I was ten years older". This made my day. I did not correct him that 20 years would be more realistic nor did I sponsor a child from World Vision but still, I applaud his spunk and good taste.

I guess I was wrong...

I had thought this G20 weekend would have gone much better had regular citizens just been out on the street going about their daily lives. Well apparently that got you arrested this weekend.

The disturbing reports keep coming - fortunately so many journalists were caught up in it because they seem to be believed over the general public who could have ulterior motives.

You law and order types can try and excuse the police actions here, but how do you justify them arresting an entire TTC streetcar of people - including the driver? The streetcar got caught in one of these blocked off zones -blocks and blocks away from the secured zone. How do you spell police state? Heads better roll people, that's all I'm sayin'.

Okay, I'm back on Front St and inside the condo. This whole situation is still making me very tense. Of course the riot police three blocks away at Queen and Spadina doesn't help with that.

Everybody has already said everything that can be said about all this. I will only add that I lived for the better part of the year in basically the world's capital city with motorcades and nuclear summits and K9 teams where I worked, and never did I feel like this. Never did I feel like it was a police state where civil liberties were ignored and still hooligans ran rampant over the streets.

You want to search pregnant woman on their way to Starbucks? Fine, but then how is it that such destruction and chaos seemed to rule the weekend?

I am a veteran protester. I love a good protest or rally. But what cause was actually served or supported by any of this?

So that was easy...

It took all of...15 minutes to get to the island airport this morning. No traffic. No people. Hardly even any police. Front Street was a ghost town.

And so now I sit with my complimentary iced tea and cookies and internet in the lounge for two hours.

Everyone was their usual pleasant and cheerful selves in Porterworld. I even joked with security about England's chances of winning on Sunday (non-existent but we have to keep the faith!)

It's all new and bright and shiny here - my first time in their new terminal. Note to self in future allow ten more minutes just for the walk.

I feel tense. Living down here right now makes you feel tense. There are now police on every corner (fence or no!) for blocks around. There are no people. On my way home this afternoon, one cop motioned as if he was going to stop me at the corner of Spadina and Front - he didn't, his partner just waved me by. But this was 2 in the afternoon - I was just getting home to watch the Denmark/Japan soccer game (poor Denmark). I shouldn't be stopped on the street for that.

Tomorrow morning will be interesting...

And now I'm carrying a bunch of stuff to Ottawa with me that I wouldn't normally but I'm a bit concerned about this building when it's half empty as it's sure to be this weekend. These are the things we have to think about. Ridiculous.

Quake!

So I'm folding laundry (which was about as productive as I got today other than watching soccer and doing some yoga before I went out apartment hunting) and the bedroom starts to shake. Really shake. And I think, wow, that Go Train sounds really close. Then I think, "oh god, someone has run a tractor trailer into the fences or has just blown up the convention centre" but then, to my relief, I realize that it's only an earthquake.

Condo still stands. All is well.

I'm so going to end up in jail

Today's dialogue with the police:

Me, standing next to a fence in the middle of Wellington street waiting for the light.

Female Police Officer: Wait for the light please.

Me: I wasn't going anywhere.

FPO: Well some people don't realize there is traffic still on the other side of the fence.

Me: And I suppose if I were hit by a car that would distract you from your fence guarding duties....

I got this notice from the condo yesterday in response to the G20 that is slowly surrounding us:

"With the world leaders gathering nearby, traffic both pedestrian and vehicular in the area will increase significantly..... To avoid the added traffic and unnecessary inconvenience, we would recommend residents and their guests enjoy their weekend away from the city core. If you need to stay in we would highly recommend that you avoid leaving the building either on foot or by motor vehicle."

So basically LEAVE or you will be trapped inside.

Welcome to My Neighbourhood (with a U)

Just another Saturday afternoon at Union Station. Don't mind the fences, apparently they are only temporary.

After a lovely dinner with good friends, I took a cab back to the condo. My cab driver was female. I think this is the first time I have ever had a female taxi driver. She was friendly, drove ridiculously fast and I'm pretty sure could have kicked my ass if she'd wanted to.

Tonight I felt more like my old self. Maybe it was because I had a good day visiting various friends and spent an hour in a book store on my own. Maybe it was because I was back in the theatre seeing Rock of Ages (kick ass band), but whatever it was, I may have turned a corner in my readjustment to city life, which is good.

After the show I had a lovely drink with my two favourite Canadian stage managers and we somehow closed the bar (oops). My 10 minute walk back to the condo, which is normally very empty, tonight was equally empty apart from the 12 policemen I passed on my way down John St. Here was one of my exchanges:

Policeman: Good evening

Me: This must be very exciting for you.

Policeman: Yes ma'am.

Me: Well thank you for guarding me on my walk home.

Other Policeman: We are guarding the fence actually.

Me: Make sure it doesn't go anywhere.

Policeman: Don't worry, it won't.

But thank you G20 for making my walk home at 2am a safe one.

Not helping

The fact that the default position for Torontonians is "rude" does not help me adjust to being back from DC. DC where the default position is "polite". It's a southern city! This extends to people holding open doors and giving up seats but also includes just not being all over the sidewalk, blocking it entirely for everyone else. I have to get my big city groove back I guess - but boy, I'm finding it hard.

Back in Black

Last week I went to a launch of this year's wine from Stratus, a Niagara vineyard (the Riesling was quite lovely). During my time in DC, I attempted to diversify the colours in my wardrobe, ie not wear black all the time. So, I was still in this mode when out on Queen West. I had on a cute navy blue dress and pink shoes (Steve Maddens!). The rest of the room was in head to toe black. Yup, I am back in Toronto. The shoes were clearly too much.

At least I have funky eye glasses....

I realize that likely no one is ready this now, but I felt compelled to tell someone about part of my night. And since it's late, I'm writing it down.

I was just at a lovely wedding on Ward's Island. Even though it poured with rain this afternoon, even though I don't tend to like weddings (though I go to many), this one was lovely. Two people just so well suited for each other and who have only added to the other, not detracted. Whatever compromises they have made have not been "sacrifices", they have just been what made sense.

Most of us caught the last ferry home. There was another wedding on the island and so many of their guests were also on this ferry - along with the band that had played that wedding. About half way across the lake, the trumpeter started to play and that beautiful dixieland sound echoed over the water. It was haunting and soulful. Couples started dancing. He played until we reached the mainland and then serenaded everyone off the boat. It was really magical and a moment that was nearly perfect. I think it was brought to me to make me feel happier about being home - I've been feeling homesick for DC (while it's lovely to see people and I've missed everyone, I feel at loose ends and restless). But there is magic here even as the G20 fences go up barricading the downtown from itself.

Last day...

For a last day, today has been a good one. I started out mailing a box northward - which I did in Arlington. Note to self, always mail from Arlington. It was fast and efficient and seemed cheaper than mailing from the Watergate or the bullet-proof glass enclosed 14th street station (oh, the holdouts from when it was the ghetto my old hood was also colourful...)

I then hit the Air and Space Museum on the Mall (finally) and the Hirshhorn collection. This makes my Smithsonian museum tally 10 of 19. Not too shabby really, considering I only missed ones like the Postal Museum (and if you've used USPS you would not blame me!) Air and Space is impressive as you might expect. Apollo moon landers, Sputnik, Spirit of St. Louis, Wright Bros flyer, I mean the place is full of iconic history. And very well laid out and easy to follow. Though full of very loud children so I only lasted about an hour and a half but feel I saw everything I wanted to.

The Hirshhorn is a small collection of interesting modern art mostly from the 60s and mostly American. They had a special exhibit by French artist Yves Klein who I did not know but was amazed by. The exhibit was also curated extremely well so you would enter a room and be breath-taken by what you saw. His work was mostly monochromatic and so one entire room was aquamarine. The Hirshhorn is a cylinder and so the rooms are curved. The aquamarine spread around the curve so it was all your eye could see. I wish I'd written down one of his quotes they had on the wall as it was very moving and similar to what an artist friend has told me about finding his way in to his own art. Yves spoke about how when he started with colour it felt like he'd found himself and had finally come home in his work. Maybe that opened up the collection to me as well because I found it all very moving. "Lasts" are hard.

I had lunch out in Eastern Market with a fellow and her mom at a little cafe that had been written up about but I hadn't made it to yet. (good but over-priced) And so I've said my final fellow good-bye.

There are so many people to thank for me being able to go on this adventure and feel I've been successful. So many friends who have helped when I've been a stressed out crazy person (more of that to follow!!). I am very lucky. And of course my family who have been so proud...it's all been amazing. Even the hard bits. I wish of course that my Mum had known that I'd been accepted here, but I feel she's been with me for it all, walking with me, having a good chuckle and enjoying all the flowers.

I suppose I have to decide what to do with this blog now! We'll see what the next chapter is before retiring it completely.

See you all soon.

Philly is ....colourful

No, I have not completely abandoned you yet just spent my couple of days in Philadelphia. Strange city. Perhaps it was just my experience with it but it seems to me like a city in need of a good wash. Plus I think I was allergic to it - it could be that it's just really polluted and DC is without heavy industry and so has quite clean air - but I coughed up a lung for two days.

One of my friends lives in probably the worst area of town (not the friend I was staying with) so driving him home was...interesting. At least we kept the hubcaps on the car. We did a few tourist things - the Liberty bell, Benjamin Franklin's grave and home and then some strange things - the Mummers' Museum- not the British mummers but a strange Philly custom of men dressing in fancy costumes (usually as animals or woman) and parading down their main street on New Year's Day. The museum was awesome. Likely built in 1958 and hasn't been touched since. And nothing worked. I think we were the first visitors in months -or ever- I thought it was weird and creepy and brilliant.

And I had water ice. This is a Philly thing. It's like a slushy but thinker and less watery- so maybe like a slushy crossed with a snow cone. It was refreshing on a 92 F day. I had the cherry which is a apparently their most popular flavour but I did find it odd as a phenomenon. I mean, it seems to be everywhere in the city but no one outside of the city knows what it is.

OH and we went to a drive up teller. Not a drive up ATM but an actual teller. Well a teller at the end of a speaker that you sent things back and forth to through a tube. I have never heard or seen such a thing but Arlington now tells me they are everywhere. Is it just me that didn't know about them?? It was so weird and strange! Anyway, you know I'm easy to please when I find that exciting....

Overall a good couple of days but not a city I'm going to rush back to.

Tonight I was at the dress rehearsal for Thurgood, a one man show about Thurgood Marshall, starring Laurence Fishburne. It was riveting. What an amazing note to end my KC experience on. I would love to see it again and if you are ever anywhere when he is performing on stage go see whatever it is. His performance was breathtaking - he aged right before our eyes without leaving the stage or changing costume. The man is brilliant. (and nice too)

I am second guessing though this whole extra time thing. It means I'm saying goodbye to people in twos and threes not all at once, so it is long and drawn out and kind of exhausting. I'm sure I'll like Philly and will be happy I stayed on, but maybe it's the packing and my desire for the packing to be over with, but I'm feeling ready to be home.

In the meantime, my last sentimental shot of the old marble kleenex box...

Harsh reality of packing. Mostly the fact that since I have two winter coats/winter boots and a duvet that I did not come down here with, my stuff is not fitting. Nope no way, no how.

And no, this is not because I bought excessively down here. I've now gotten rid of more than I bought no question. It's just I had thought that I'd have been back up to Canada since Christmas, but with the McNally fest, well, that just wasn't a possibility.

I have an option. I have a suitcase I brought here that I was going to throw out because the wheels don't work any more and it was just what was available to me last August. So I could put said duvet and coats into this suitcase but that would leave me with five, yes five, checked bags which seems... a lot.

I could mail the duvet also. But so far I've only mailed paper and books - things that are replaceable. I just don't have great trust in the combined genius of USPS and Canada Post. Sending something of value seems...foolhardy.

I'm going to sleep on this dilemma and decide while I do final laundry tomorrow morning.

Today those of us remaining had brunch at Pete's. Amazingly there were 7 fellows and 1 KC staffer. A surprisingly good turn out. But each day our numbers dwindle and it's a bit odd. I'm glad I'm going to Philly because right now I just feel like being home and having this leaving bit over. But Philly will be good I'm sure.

I wandered afterwards towards the Capitol after brunch as i had thought Rolling Thunder was happening today but it turns out that's tomorrow. This is when thousands of bikers bike around the mall/Capital in a memorial to American POWs and MIAs. It's supposed to be very impressive. Today there were tonnes of bikes around the place but not the main event. I ended up walking home - so that's quite a distance from 2nd and Penn SW up to Adam's Morgan. With all this walking exactly how have I gained the fellowship 15? Sigh.

Okay, back to stressing about luggage.

And that's a wrap...

Last days are almost as strange as first days. Today was the end of this crazy roller coaster ride but it is equally the beginning of whatever is next. (whatever that is...) So I'm sad and tired and happy and proud and missing people and looking forward to being home all at once.

But with last days, you don't know what you feel about a place until you are at the end and you don't know what people really feel about you either.

Today, this end, was full of emotions and I'm not processing it all quite yet so this will likely be a random assortment of moments.

One of the security guards hugged me.

There was a lunch for us and one staff member gave a speech with remarks about each of us. The VP of theatre programming spoke about me. He made me cry. I think he made everyone cry. He started with telling how I was the reason they didn't get to put up a Christmas tree this year but that I was the best Christmas present they could have asked for. But the moment that got me was when he said he couldn't imagine coming to work on Tuesday and me not being there. (hire me I thought!). It's true, I've been in that office for almost seven months - it's a long time for a fellow.

When I got to work this morning I realized that I'd forgotten to put on this bracelet that mom had given me years ago and I was really upset with myself for forgetting. I mentioned this to boys in the office and in one of those wonderful fateful happenstances, Max presented me with a Tiffany's box during his speech to me. He was clearly very pleased with himself - and who doesn't love to get a Tiffany's box. Inside was a silver bracelet.

So apparently I'm scary when I play pool. But I did tell them I was pretty good. And I'm pretty good! But yes, some of my fellow fellows found my concentration...frightening while watching the game unfold. Now, for the record, I won two and lost two (but only by one ball each...) so I wasn't exactly a pool shark, but I guess they didn't see it coming. I did tell them....

Last day.

Strange.

Deep breath.

It was 80 at 8:30 this morning. I don't want to think about how hot it is out there now.

Survived the Watergate post office. Barely. Of course today the clerk told me I'd filled everything out incorrectly, while of course I'd filled it out exactly as she had told me to last week. I may never see the stuff again.

A sidebar to the Fellows' Skip Day post - one of the fellow's supervisors asked their fellow where we were going, when told they said "but that's so cultured. I thought you'd do something naughty". For us crazy Russian artifacts counts as risque. Is that a bit sad?

Fellows' skip day

Well Fellows' skip day turned in to Fellows' skip afternoon, but we did okay. We didn't make it out to Mount Vernon but instead we went to one of DC's "hidden treasures" Hillwood House. Or estate rather. This 25 acre estate was owned by the daughter of the man who started Post cereal, Marjorie Merriweather Post. Her family also owned General Foods, so, kinda rich. She herself was married 4 times, the first time to the US Ambassador to Russia in the 1930s so, as a woman interested in the arts, she basically pillaged the place for two American dollars. Her collection includes the most Faberge eggs in North America (maybe the world, I'm not sure) - they are extremely pretty and she has many of them. One of them was the very first one that Nicholas gave to his mother, Catherine the Great. So yeah, Russia should call looking for its history back because it is all in this mansion. Seriously, entire rooms of this place were filled with Russian liturgical art and items of obvious religious significance which she bought when Russians couldn't afford food.

The grounds were gorgeous. The staff and volunteers all so friendly and knowledgeable and we had the place to ourselves. We may have passed five other people the entire afternoon. Hillwood must have an extremely large endowment to keep going is what I'm thinking. If you come to DC and are here for more than a day or two, visit here. It's something else. (there will be pictures but I'm tired!!)

We then had a Fellow's birthday celebratory BBQ which was terrific. I finally went to Cowgirl Creamery and bought cheese! Lots of extremely yummy cheese (thanks Miss E - so fun to do too).

As an interesting contrast to the day, after the BBQ, I got a lift home with one of the other fellows. We dropped another fellow off in Anacostia first - on the OTHER side of the Anacostia River (where I had been told over and over never to go). It was fine. It actually looked like a perfectly nice, residential area. It is actually worse on the DC side of the bridge just in south east. Oh stereotypes.

I think tomorrow's plans are now for a pool party rather than karaoke (yay) as it's supposed to be even warmer than today. And so very humid. But again, I've hit this weird place where I'm okay with the heat. The air conditioned apartment helps, I admit that.

And tomorrow is our penultimate day in the program. How very, very strange.

Good things, trying things

Good things: Terrence McNally friended me on FB. This makes me happy.

I met Laurence Fishburne today in our gift shop. I will get to go to the dress rehearsal of that show this weekend. Yay!

The KC's CEO is "happy" to give me a reference. Yay!

Trying things: Roomie, for the last two nights, has been baking someone's wedding cake and it is ALL OVER THE APARTMENT. And it's a wedding she can't even go to because she is such a ditz she double booked herself. I'm trying to find my zen, but my zen is missing. I'm just trying to tell myself that she's away for the weekend and so I'll have my last weekend in DC to myself. Find my zen...perhaps I packed it already....

Jefferson

The biggest challenge of the program ending is not looking for work or a place to live or packing and moving, it's getting used to the idea that my life will no longer involve events like this afternoon's trip to the Swedish Embassy. Or rather the House of Sweden as they call it.

I've gotten used to things like having private tours of embassies with cultural attaches (well not the Canadian one of course because our embassy is lame!!) while discussing the state of cultural funding and diplomacy internationally. I mean our tour today was with the guy who basically came up with the idea of the European culture capitals which get awarded each year. So a seriously smart and accomplished man. Who gets to do stuff like this??? How amazing.

Plus of course the House of Sweden itself is architecturally stunning. It is designed to reflect the country itself. The main doors have you walking in through a waterfall and into a display which represents ice and frost. The main entrance is floor to ceiling windows looking on to the Potomac (the embassy is a neighbour of the KC) while one of the assembly rooms on the lower level is very, very dark which reflects the 3 months of dark that the north of the country lives through each winter. And then there is the rooftop terrace. In a word, stunning. Swedes know design that's for sure.

Anyway, so while saying goodbye to people and places is hard, it is saying goodbye to these opportunities in many ways which is hardest.

However, a friend told me today to hurry home, and so I will with as light a heart as possible.

Yesterday I finally made it to Jefferson. Yes, I know, I never believed I'd get there either. And you know, he's worth the trek! Very impressive - I actually prefer him to Lincoln. I'll post photos later but he's standing in the middle of a rotunda and he's all shadowy and mysterious. Lincoln is sitting and looking down over the mall which has a different power to it. Maybe Jefferson has stood up because his monument is sinking in to the Tidal Basin and he's just preparing to make a run for it.
I also visited FDR for the first time. Now he has good real estate. His memorial is long and divided into four sections representing his four terms in office. Each section has statues and a water element. It is very peaceful (well appart from the visiting high school marching band) and dignified. Next to FDR will be the site of the Martin Luther King memorial. I haven't seen the designs for it, but from the look of the construction he's going to be significant.
I showed my friends around the KC after we finished on the Mall. That never gets old. Yes on one had it feels a bit like a convention center because the halls are so big and we have so many venues, but on the other, the place is beautiful. And the views of the city - well, I'm going to miss sitting out on the terrace at lunch and watching the river.

Our last week begins...